Slice of Life

       Another round of hurt again. Really bad as I feel like an outsider here where I grew up.
I went to my son's wedding and I was the only ONE on the grooms side of church. It was awkward.
My son came to my pew and thanked me for coming. He was dressed in black as I was. Wierd huh?
The five younger kids of his wife to be came and gave me hugs and said they missed me. Oh I missed them too but couldn't tell them why. I gave my son a card and a birthday card. His wife to be was 25 minutes late and her hair was wet (?) Her 10 kids sat down and my granddaughter sat with them. The wife to be came up to me pushing out her enormous pregnant belly with my grandchild due March 2016 and patted my hand and said we'd have to work on a friendship. My son told me it would take time or maybe never he said. Again there is no room for me. The pattern in past years is he disowned every family member even divorced his wife and now his new family with a dozen children is his family. I don't think I need to say more you can imagine.
  My camera would not work! Seriously? Why? So no photos of that day. I am not the same. I let God drive me home and I still cry at a drop of hat. I think of the song I am I said.

I don't know where I belong anymore. I can relate to the horse with no name.
I don't like the sound of being alone.
I know I must change my path once again and let God guide me.
I keep my faith and keep busy with walks and cooking. My roomate's busy with appointments on her calendar of lunches with friends caring for a dying friend etc. I find it is too emotional for me getting involved. I will miss her friend when his liver cancer takes him. I cannot watch someone slowly die.
After holidays I will ponder to know what to do. Princeton is calling me back but I don't know. It's the familiarity maybe? Well here's the song.